Almost caught up with my posts

Here we are, a few days from spring. The sun has been shining the last couple of days. How I love the sun. Yet a couple of weeks ago, we had inches upon inches of snow. I woke up to let Riley out at 5 am and to my surprise the ground was covered in crisp, fresh, white snow. It was still snowing in the afternoon, when I decided to bundle Sophie up and take her out in the snow for the first time. It was perfect snowball, snowman making snow. I wish I could say Sophie's face lit up with joy and excitement, but once again, she just quietly, took it all in.

More recently, Sophie, Riley and I took a nice long walk to the park. Sophie tried out the swingset for the very first time!!! Mommy was so excited. I couldn't wait to see my little girl glow and giggle with giddiness. I should know by now that Sophie's personality is one of quiet, calm observation. She likes to absorb what is going on, take it all in, understand it. Only after all of this, can she fully let loose.

Bulging Disc

My back has been consistently sore for a while now, but the other day I made a slight adjustment on the couch and instantly felt a surge of pain. Nenad had to come take Sophie from me. The pain was bad, but over the course of the day it became unbearable. Honestly, I can't recall ever feeling pain like this. In comparison, on a scale of 1-10, my c-section and recovery would have been a 1 and my back pain would be an 8-9 with spikes of 10 at times. I am pretty good with pain. I have always considered myself to have a high pain threshold, but this pain has been crippling.
For some reason, I think out of delirium, I couldn't stop laughing, which was making my muscles seize up. Even though I was laughing, tears of agony were streaming from my eyes.It was less of a laugh, and more of a crazy cackle i guess.
I thought it was embarrassing, the first night, when Nenad had to help me to the bathroom and even pull my pants up and down. Turns out that wasn't embarrassing, compared to the next night when I was paralyzed by pain and lied on the bathroom floor for an hour and a half. Nenad wanted to call an ambulance, but I would have been mortified. I took two T3's. They made my arms and legs tingly, but barely improved my back pain. Slowly, I inched my way on to a sheet, very very slowly. Once on it, Nenad dragged me in to the living room, so I could at least lay on the carpet. That was a painful move. Mostly because the absurdity of it all made me laugh (Nenad was not laughing in the least) and when I laughed the pain would intensify. At one point I screamed for Nen to stop pulling the sheet, but when he stopped he set down the sheet and bumped my head on the ground. I tried my hardest not to laugh, but stopping myself from laughing, made my muscles tighten that much more, and well you know where Im going.
Im sure you are wondering why or how I could laugh, if I was in that much pain. To this I say ' I have no idea'. Nothing about the situation was funny. I think I was a bit crazy from the shock of it all. I also think I was trying to minimize the pain, to not worry Nenad. I feel guilty having so much attention paid to me.
Anyway, the doctor prescribed Emtec-30, which are T-3's with out the caffeine, and Advil. I was worried about taking the meds, since they contain codeine, because I am nursing. The doctor and the pharmacist both said it was fine. I don't fully believe them, but Sophie has been ok. They have actually been good, cause they make both of us sleep better. I know I know, it is bad that it is passing through my milk to her, but I only took a few. Its probably helping her teething pain. ( silly attempt at a joke ). I thought about giving her formula and then pump n dump my milk, but Nenad convinced me that Sophie will be fine.
I have been to the physiotherapist twice, in as many days. He says I have a bulging disc, and it is pressing on my sciatic nerve. I am amazed by how much some of his simple exercises have helped me already. Hopefully my back will be good as new very very soon. My reflexes in my knee and ankle have improved since yesterday. My glutes are working over time. They are so tight, and my knees have started aching a bit. Even my abs are starting to tighten. Six pack here I come. I don't think that will be the case lol.
 Instead of sitting up to nurse Sophie, I have been lying down, and then she has been sleeping next to me. This makes things quite a bit easier. The first night of this ordeal, Nenad slept in the same room as us. For the last couple of months, he has been sleeping in the other room because we were on different sleep patterns, and well, he was too tired with Sophie waking him up every 2 hours. I think he forgot what it was like because by 2 am he said to me " How have you not killed yourself yet " half serious. It was shocking when he said it, but at the same time I was happy to hear it. Finally some validation for all I do. Leading up to this point, he could not figure out why it upset me when he would say how tired he was, or how he didn't have a good sleep. lol, I haven't slept in 6 months, welcome to parenthood. Its completely worth it, but the sleep deprivation does take some getting used to for sure.
So this is where we are at. The pain sucks but it is nice to have Nenad so involved and taking such wonderful care of me and Sophie. He really is being amazingly caring, supportive and helpful. Last night he made some yummy sandwiches for dinner :) The pain has improved a bit. My muscles have relaxed quite a bit. I return to physio on Tuesday for van IMS treatment. I think this where they stick needles into my muscles and attach some type of current. This is to relax the muscles even more.

Grandma's birthday

Happy birthday Grandma, and Happy 6 month birthday to Sophie Eveliina!! Wow 6 months. I can't believe it. I feel like you have been in my life forever, and then again, when I think about you being half a year old, I wonder where the time has gone. You are growing so fast. You are getting so tall, and soon you will have your first tooth. You are starting to somewhat like mushy bananas, but I know your favorite snack is booby milk :) Your cheeks are filling out so much. And now you are sleeping in your big girl crib!! Your beautiful blue eyes, are very slowly and faintly changing to another wonderfully stunning colour. What they will end up being, we will have to wait and see. You talk and talk and talk. You are a very observant little being. You love to touch different textures, taste everything, even paper and napkins.... especially paper and napkins lol. I am so in love with you. I always wondered how your Grandma, my Mom, could be so selfless, and then I had you. No longer is this life about me. Everything I do, and everything I am is for and about you. How I went so long without you in my life, I do not know. I love you little Liina Lu.

                                    To my amazingly loving, beautiful Mother

                                                   We all love you Mom very very much
                                                   Thank you for all the happy memories

 I thank you for being the wonderful, loving, caring, understanding, strong, hard working mom that you are. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. Sophie will be lucky if I am even half the Mother you are and have been. We are all so blessed to have you in our lives. We are the empathetic, sympathetic, loving, creative women we are today, because of you. Thank you for your patience, and understanding, for always forgiving and loving me no matter what awful things I said to you or did as a teenager. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I love you and wish you many many many years of love, family, friends, curiosity, adventure, warmth, purpose, excitement, and joy.

Momma's Birthday Weekend

Happy Birthday to Me. My birthday has passed, but I am just getting to this post now. Our little family went to Vancouver not too long ago to celebrate my birthday and my sisters birthday. We had a wonderful time. It was a crazy, busy, family, friends, and celebration filled few days.
Sophie met her Jedo for the first time. The get together went surprisingly well. You could see how happy he was to meet his grand-daughter. Sadly, there had been a falling out between us all, which is why it took so long for Sophie to meet him. Nens mom made a smorgasbord of food. Spaghetti, cabbage rolls, coleslaw, schnitzel, and jam filled crepes for dessert.
After dinner, Sophie's Baka took me to their spare room, where she showed me a closet jam packed with little girl clothes for Sophie. Let me just say, Sophie will be well clothed until the age of 2 years :) She told me that she can't help but buy Sophie clothes, every time she goes out. She is a very loving, caring Baka. I can see that Sophie feels very close to her. She smiles when ever she sees/hears her Baka. Of course I have to mention how much Sophie loves her Grandma as well. They both light up when they see eachother. Sophie is so blessed to have so many warm, loving, adoring women in her life.

Sophie also met her Baka Rada and Jedo Branco. They are actually Nens cousins, but they have adopted Sophie as their Grand-baby. They are such amazingly wonderful People. They instantly fell inlove with Sophie. I have wanted them to meet Sophie for the longest time.
I was able to get together with some girlfriends while In Vancouver. They are so sweet. They booked me a massage and facial for my birthday. I can't wait to go!! I just have to call and make an appointment. I hope to go this week sometime. We went for lunch at Chau. If you are ever in Vancouver, you should eat there. It is Asian Fusion. Very very good food, and the atmosphere is very comfortable. Thankfully Sophie came to lunch with us and helped me blow out my birthday candle.

After our birthday dinner, we went to Jills place. I think it would have been a better idea to call it a night after the restaurant. For one, I think a few people were tired, well we were all pretty tired. But the biggest reason was, had we turned in early, William wouldn't have ran full force into a plate glass wall. Oh my gosh it was so scary. We were in a different room when we heard this LOUD bang, and then William screaming. I was scared to look. I thought something horrific had happened. It was pretty bad, but thankfully not as serious as I had imagined. Trina and Jill took Will to the emergency room, where they sat for hours. They said they weren't sure if his nose was broken, but he didn't have a concussion, so that put our minds at ease.
The day before coming back home, we helped my mom move. Everything went smoothly.

Crib time

My little Lina Loo is getting too big for her bassinet. She is only about 15 lbs, but she is too tall for it. Sometimes when she kicks her legs they end up resting on the top edge of the basket. Oh she is too cute. Yesterday we decided to bring her crib into our room, from her nursery. I didn't want her to be too far from me, so her crib is now right beside our bed.

I was worried that she wouldn't be able to sleep in it, cause she likes to be a bit smushed and cuddled while sleeping.She likes to have something close to her face so she can nuzzle in to it. Before putting her in her crib, I swaddled her up nice and tight. She slept like a little angel. A little angel, who likes to wake her mom up periodically through out the wee hours of the morning.

Speaking of waking up during the night, I have decided to let her cry it out a bit, every once in a while. I think it is best for both of us. She will benefit from getting longer periods of rest. I know she isn't hungry when she cries every two hours. So far it is going well. She has started sleeping up to 3 hours at a time. The other night she actually slept 5 hours. I have been nursing her every 4-5 hours. If she cries before that, then she ends up falling back to sleep on her own.

There have been many changes in our little baby girl. She is gumming her tongue like crazy. I am pretty sure its the tooth coming in that is bothering her and is why she is chewing on her tongue. The feeling is new for her as well, so I'm sure she is curious as to what is going on with her gums. Anything that she can get her hands on ends up in her mouth. Yesterday we went to the mall. We gave Sophie a napkin, a ketchup packet and a receipt to keep her entertained, and all of them found there way in to her mouth. She used to roll only to her left, but has recently rolled to her right a couple of times. For some reason she hasn't been rolling over nearly as much lately.She is very interested in Riley the doggy. She wants to pet him every chance she gets. By 'pet' I mean she likes to grab his fur and pull it lol. And the cutest thing ever, she is talking up a storm. She talks very loudly. Ok so not so much talking, but making loud strings of sound. I think she is even starting to put together words like da and ba. Oh and she loves tags. Little labels on her toys and on clothing. She is more interested in them than in the toys themselves. Tooooo cute

While we were at the mall, Sophie picked up a few new toys. We bought her this crazy looking toy, called a sing-a-ma-jig. It is so silly. I can't stop playing with it hahaha. It makes such silly sounds, and it looks so bizarre.

Singamajig

This is the sing-a-ma-jig that Sophie has. I found a video of it on youtube.
I can't stop squeezing it

Time for teeth

A couple of weeks ago I thought I could feel a tooth below the surface of Sophies gums. It was such a slight rise in her gumline, that I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not. I have noticed that my baby girls cheeks have been very rosie lately, and I would say that she has been drooling more, but she has been drooling excessively for a long time :) Anything that comes anywhere near her, ends up in her mouth. Today I rubbed my finger on her gums, and there is no doubt that a tooth will be making an appearance very soon. It feels as though it is right below the surface. I am excited and nervous for this next step. Excited because It will be a whole new experience. She will look so adorable with one uber tiny white little tooth standing all alone in a sea of gums. I'm nervous and scared because a tooth is one more reminder of how quickly she is growing, and how fast time passes by. Of course every moment that passes is one more happy, wonderful, love filled memory to look back on. She was a bit unsettled and fussy today, which is partly what drew me to feel her gums, but there are a few reasons, not just teething, that could have brought on her mood. Such as our 4 day trip to the big city, where we stayed a few nights and visited with a lot of family and friends. Which I will have to fill you in on another day. Right now I should be sound asleep. Goodnight and sweet dreams